Changing ourselves is rarely easy. We think about our looks, habits, lifestyle, social circle, or screen time. However, we often avoid the harder question: how do we really make change happen? As requirements engineers, we also face change in projects, teams, and stakeholder work. Therefore, I explore how to change as a engineer and become the person I want to be.
Why Change Feels Difficult
Familiar behavior feels comfortable because I already know what to expect. Change creates uncertainty. Therefore, even a positive goal can create resistance.
I may want to exercise more, reduce screen time, improve my professional skills, or change an unhelpful habit. However, wanting a different outcome does not automatically change my daily behavior.
I make progress when I translate a general intention into specific actions that I can actually perform.
For this reason, I approach personal change in a structured way.
Step 1: I Define What I Want to Change
First, I make the goal clear.
A statement such as “I want to improve myself” gives me little direction. Instead, I define a concrete outcome.
For example:
- I want to exercise three times each week.
- I want to spend less time on social media.
- I want to improve a specific professional skill.
- I want to reserve more time for focused work.
A clear goal also helps me decide what does not belong to the goal.
If I cannot describe the change clearly, I will struggle to act on it consistently.
Therefore, I focus on one meaningful change instead of trying to improve everything at once.
Step 2: I Identify the Obstacles
Next, I examine what prevents the desired behavior.
Some obstacles come from my environment. For example, I may have limited time, competing responsibilities, or an unsuitable routine.
Other obstacles come from my own behavior. I may procrastinate, forget the goal, choose easier alternatives, or depend too much on motivation.
Therefore, I ask:
- What usually prevents me from acting?
- When does the problem occur?
- Which situations make the unwanted behavior more likely?
- Which resources or conditions would make the desired behavior easier?
This step matters because a good goal can still fail when I ignore the conditions around it.
I can design a better solution when I understand the obstacle instead of simply blaming a lack of discipline.
Step 3: I Define Simple Rules
Once I understand the goal and the obstacles, I define practical rules.
A rule tells me what I will do in a specific situation.
For example, if I want to exercise more, I may decide that Tuesday and Thursday evenings are fixed training times. If my schedule often prevents longer sessions, I may also define a short home workout as an alternative.
Therefore, the rule connects the goal with real behavior.
I prefer rules that are simple enough to remember and realistic enough to follow.
For example:
- I prepare tomorrow’s most important task before I finish work.
- I keep my phone away during focused work.
- I study for 30 minutes after dinner.
- I exercise on two fixed days every week.
A useful personal rule reduces the number of decisions I need to make in the moment.
This becomes especially valuable when motivation is low.
I Use Structure Without Making Life Rigid
Rules can support change. However, too much structure can create another problem.
Unexpected events happen. Priorities change. Therefore, I distinguish between abandoning a goal and adapting the way I pursue it.
If I cannot follow a rule in one situation, I look for an alternative. I do not immediately discard the entire approach.
For example, if I miss a planned workout because of an appointment, I can move it to another day. The goal remains unchanged even though the plan changes.
Consistency does not require perfect execution; it requires returning to the intended behavior after disruption.
This allows me to combine structure with flexibility.
I Review Whether My Rules Work
A rule is only useful if it helps me move toward the desired result.
Therefore, I review my approach after some time.
I ask whether I followed the rule, whether it helped, and which obstacles still remain. If necessary, I change the rule.
For example, I may discover that a planned activity regularly conflicts with another commitment. Instead of repeatedly failing, I can choose a better time.
This resembles how I work with requirements. I start with an understanding, observe the result, and refine the solution when new information appears.
However, I keep the process simple. Personal development should support my life, not become another complex management system.
Change Starts With Action
Planning creates direction, but planning alone does not create change.
At some point, I have to perform the new behavior.
Therefore, I prefer a small action that I repeat over an ambitious plan that I rarely follow.
The most important step is not creating the perfect plan but creating a plan that leads me to act.
Once the behavior becomes more consistent, I can refine and expand it.
Conclusion
I approach personal change with the same basic logic that helps me solve structured problems.
First, I define what I want. Then I identify what prevents it. Next, I create simple rules that connect intention with action. Finally, I review the result and adapt where necessary.
This approach does not remove effort or uncertainty. However, it gives me a practical way to move from thinking about change to actually creating it.
For me, sustainable change begins when a clear goal, realistic rules, and repeated action work together.
What’s Next?!
Understanding change is only the beginning. Next, I need to apply that mindset both to demanding software projects and to my own behavior. In Getting What We Need for Challenging Software Development, I explore how clear requirements, realistic expectations, and adaptability support complex projects. Then, in How to Set Rules for Personal Change as Requirements Engineer, I show how simple personal rules can turn intention into consistent action. Together, both perspectives help me create more structure, make better decisions, and grow as a requirements engineer.
Strengthen Your Personal Growth
Read Personal Growth to see how I connect self-understanding, change, habits, discipline, decisions, stress, personality, cognition, and openness in one practical overview. This main article also shows how personal growth strengthens stakeholder management, elicitation, body language, presentation, storytelling, repartee, negotiation, and effective communication. Therefore, I can grow as a person and become more effective as a requirements engineer.
Credits: Photo by Gerd Altmann from Pexels